Lately my faith-life seems to be on a rollercoaster. I’ll hear a fantastic sermon on trusting God, my faith soars to new heights, and I’ll sit back and think, “Great! I’ve got this faith thing down!”
And the very next day, some kind of catastrophe hits, and I’m plunging back down into doubt.
“Wow, Lord, I know You said You’d supply my needs, but this time I’ve got a BIG problem. I really don’t know how You’re gonna fix this one!”
Sound familiar?
November and December weren’t exactly stellar months for me. (My pastor-brother says I have the opposite of the Midas touch. He thought he was funny. Me, not so much.)
All within a few weeks, my water heater at home broke, my daycare sewer needed major repairs from intruding tree roots, and a violent flu bug swept through my little daycare. Every single one of my kiddos went down with it, plus their daycare provider. You win if you guess who that was…
So I did what every smart girl does when she needs a break…I closed my daycare for a week and went to see my mom. (My parents live 12 hours away; that’s important for you to know.) The trip went smoothly for the first 10 hours. Two hours from my parents’ house, the car started acting up.
Yep, we broke down. (The good news is, we were only 1/2 hour from my parents’ house. The bad news is I bought myself a new alternator for Christmas. So that was awesome.)
Fast-forward to the end of my vacation. I returned to work to find the drainpipes in my daycare kitchen frozen. I began to wonder if I should hibernate for the winter?
Everything has worked out alright. All the pipes, water heaters, and sewers have been fixed. My little Ford Escort is running just fine.
But I’m a little frustrated with myself. You see, I’ve known my Heavenly Father since becoming His daughter at a young age. You would think by now I wouldn’t worry and stress when things break down. Or when cars stop working on the Interstate. Or when water starts pouring from my daycare walls.
But I did.
I KNOW He’s in control. I KNOW He has the power to help me. I KNOW He’s going to come through for me.
And yet I still worry at times.
This week I’ve been studying the life of Abraham. I’ve always considered him to be a great man of faith, and so he was.
But he was also a man who wrestled in faith.
A man who struggled to keep believing in God’s promise.
Romans 4:20 tells us that Abraham “was strong in faith, giving glory to God.”
Genesis 15:6 says Abraham “believed in the Lord; and He counted it to him for righteousness.”
Yet in Genesis 16, we see Abraham and his wife trying to “help” God send the promised son by involving Sarah’s handmaid, Hagar.
Twice we see Abraham lying–saying Sarah is his wife–because he doesn’t believe God will protect him. (Genesis 12 and 20)
And to top it off, we find that Abraham “fell upon his face, and laughed, and said in his heart, ‘Shall a child be born unto him that is an hundred years old? and shall Sarah, that is ninety years old, bear?’ ” (Genesis 17:17)
Yet this same Abraham is extolled over and over in the Bible for his strong faith!
I’m so thankful God didn’t sugar-coat the saints of the Bible; He allows us to see their failures as well as their victories.
This life of faith isn’t always a mountain-top experience. We will have times when we feel strong in faith, and times when we doubt God.
Perhaps you have been discouraged by your ups and downs, by the realization that your faith isn’t always steady and strong? Please know that you are not alone. Every single one of God’s children–including Abraham–had times of doubt.
The important thing is that we keep going. Keep believing. Keep taking that next step. Keep looking forward to God’s promises.
For you never know when God will send your Isaac, and your life will be filled with laughter.
Not the laughter of unbelief, but the joy-filled laughter of the child of God who has seen the hand of God move in a mighty way.
“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1
This reminds me of when my grandson Samuel was in the hospital and going through his open heart surgery. Samuel made it through surgery fine but it was after his surgery that his health went up and down. He was improving but then I got a text from my son saying Samuel had a collapsed lung! I started crying and yelling at God (not outwardly but inwardly), saying, “Give the poor kid a break! Hasn’t he been through enough?” After about an hour, and after encouragement from my husband, I gave it back to God who made him to start with. He brought Samuel home from not only that surgery but a second one also. Yes, the Lord is in control even when our faith waivers. He is also there to wrap His arms around us when we come back to him and ask forgiveness when our faith waivers!
Thank you, Janet. Your story brought tears to my eyes this morning. My struggles with repairs are nothing compared to the life of a precious grandchild. Praise God for bringing healing to little Samuel! We will continue to pray for him and his family.
This is just what I needed today. I woke up with a wondering spirit in my heart. Questions of, Is this all really real? Am I just blindly following and God really doesn’t care? I even quoted the verses to myself about God’s spirit bearing witness with mine. Then I read this. Just needed that encouragement this morning. God is so good to provide this just when the need is there. Thanks Kim.
You’re very welcome. God always knows just what we need. A friend reminded me this morning about John the Baptist, and how he wavered in faith when he was in prison. Not a single one of God’s children are free from times of doubt. Keep looking up! He will carry you through.
Kim I needed this today. My heating unit on the outside is not working. I am struggling with not wanting to put my hands on a situation with my brother and letting the Lord work. I always try to FIX things. Sound familiar. I know God loves me and has always taken care of me please pray
Praying for you right now! I hope and pray things will be running smoothly again soon. 🙂
The Bible tells us that we grow stronger in faith through our trials. In times like these, it is not hard to question our faith. God tries us, sometimes really hard, but he promised that he never leaves us nor forsakes us. Together, with prayers, we will overcome all obstacles. I am so thankful for our prayer warriors.
Thank you, Nita. Yes…through it all, He promises He will be with us. And I agree–the prayers of God’s family are precious!