Lately my faith-life seems to be on a rollercoaster. I’ll hear a fantastic sermon on trusting God, my faith soars to new heights, and I’ll sit back and think, “Great! I’ve got this faith thing down!”
And the very next day, some kind of catastrophe hits, and I’m plunging back down into doubt.
“Wow, Lord, I know You said You’d supply my needs, but this time I’ve got a BIG problem. I really don’t know how You’re gonna fix this one!”
November and December weren’t exactly stellar months for me. (My pastor-brother says I have the opposite of the Midas touch. He thought he was funny. Me, not so much.)
All within a few weeks, my water heater at home broke, my daycare sewer needed major repairs from intruding tree roots, and a violent flu bug swept through my little daycare. Every single one of my kiddos went down with it, plus their daycare provider. You win if you guess who that was…
So I did what every smart girl does when she needs a break…I closed my daycare for a week and went to see my mom. (My parents live 12 hours away; that’s important for you to know.) The trip went smoothly for the first 10 hours. Two hours from my parents’ house, the car started acting up.
Yep, we broke down. (The good news is, we were only 1/2 hour from my parents’ house. The bad news is I bought myself a new alternator for Christmas. So that was awesome.)
Fast-forward to the end of my vacation. I returned to work to find the drainpipes in my daycare kitchen frozen. I began to wonder if I should hibernate for the winter?
Everything has worked out alright. All the pipes, water heaters, and sewers have been fixed. My little Ford Escort is running just fine.
But I’m a little frustrated with myself. You see, I’ve known my Heavenly Father since becoming His daughter at a young age. You would think by now I wouldn’t worry and stress when things break down. Or when cars stop working on the Interstate. Or when water starts pouring from my daycare walls.
But I did.
I KNOW He’s in control. I KNOW He has the power to help me. I KNOW He’s going to come through for me.
And yet I still worry at times.
This week I’ve been studying the life of Abraham. I’ve always considered him to be a great man of faith, and so he was.
But he was also a man who wrestled in faith.
A man who struggled to keep believing in God’s promise.
Romans 4:20 tells us that Abraham “was strong in faith, giving glory to God.”
Genesis 15:6 says Abraham “believed in the Lord; and He counted it to him for righteousness.”
Yet in Genesis 16, we see Abraham and his wife trying to “help” God send the promised son by involving Sarah’s handmaid, Hagar.
Twice we see Abraham lying–saying Sarah is his wife–because he doesn’t believe God will protect him. (Genesis 12 and 20)
And to top it off, we find that Abraham “fell upon his face, and laughed, and said in his heart, ‘Shall a child be born unto him that is an hundred years old? and shall Sarah, that is ninety years old, bear?’ ” (Genesis 17:17)
Yet this same Abraham is extolled over and over in the Bible for his strong faith!
I’m so thankful God didn’t sugar-coat the saints of the Bible; He allows us to see their failures as well as their victories.
This life of faith isn’t always a mountain-top experience. We will have times when we feel strong in faith, and times when we doubt God.
Perhaps you have been discouraged by your ups and downs, by the realization that your faith isn’t always steady and strong? Please know that you are not alone. Every single one of God’s children–including Abraham–had times of doubt.
The important thing is that we keep going. Keep believing. Keep taking that next step. Keep looking forward to God’s promises.
For you never know when God will send your Isaac, and your life will be filled with laughter.
Not the laughter of unbelief, but the joy-filled laughter of the child of God who has seen the hand of God move in a mighty way.
“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1