No one ever told me it would be this hard.
Being a mother, I mean.
No, the hardest thing wasn’t the labor and delivery. (Although that wasn’t exactly a walk in the park.)
Or the seemingly endless nights of little sleep and crazy days of chasing toddlers.
Or the battles with childhood illnesses, the refereeing of sibling rivalries, the amount of laundry, cooking, and cleaning that stretches on for YEARS, and the conquering of math homework.
No, the hardest part of being a mother is letting go.
It’s something I’m just beginning to get a taste of.
Last week my oldest son graduated from high school. As I watched Kristoffer walk down the aisle, graduating with honors, my heart just about burst.
Over 18 years of memories…how to capture every one? To hold them safe in my heart as I face the day he will leave for college?
Of all the memories, there is one thing I will especially miss.
Every night for the past three years, Kris has said the exact same thing to me.
“Good night, Mum. God is good, all the time.”
To which I reply, “And all the time, God is good.”
It’s our thing. One of our mother-son bonds that warms my heart every single time. (We started it after watching the first God’s Not Dead movie, which I highly recommend.) This nightly ritual has helped me more than Kris will ever know.
His reminder that God is always good has encouraged me through some difficult times.
Nights when I was exhausted by the demands of my job.
Nights when I felt I was a dismal failure at this single-mom life.
Nights when I wondered if God really had good plans for our family.
Nights when I was worried about bills and mortgages and my car breaking down.
And nights I was just plain tired of the difficulties of life.
It’s relatively easy to believe that God is good, when life is good.
But this–this is what’s hard:
Trusting that God is still good even when life gets tough.
God, being the all-knowing Father that He is, knew I needed this reminder every single night these past few years.
Perhaps you need a gentle reminder today as well?
Maybe your circumstances aren’t good. Maybe you don’t feel happy. Maybe the sliver lining escapes you in every single storm that has crashed over your life these past months.
Please don’t stop believing in the goodness of God. Even if it’s impossible to see a single bit of goodness in your situation today, keep believing that He is good.
I love this quote, adapted from a sermon by Charles Spurgeon.
“When you can’t trace God’s hand, trust His heart.”
That’s how we can keep believing that God is good, because we know His heart.
“O give thanks unto the Lord; for he is good: for his mercy (lovingkindness) endureth forever.” (Psalm 136:1)
A note to my son:
I’m so proud of you. I’m proud of your kind and gentle heart. I love that you take time to play with younger kids at school and talk to the older folks after church. I’m thankful for the way you kept pushing through, in spite of your health difficulties the past couple years. I’m proud of the way you read your Bible every day and meet with the men of our church to pray. I delight to hear you preach at the youth services, even when people tease you about your accent. 🙂 I’m proud of the way you studied so hard you earned an ACT score that would get you into any university in America, but you’ve chosen to attend a Bible college because that’s what you believe God would have you do. I love the creativity that shines in your stories, dramas, and movies. I love the way you make me laugh. But most of all, I’m thankful for your heart for God. Stay close to Him always, and never give up on the dreams He has given you.
God is good, all the time. And all the time, God is good.
I love you.